Which way to New Delhi?

My adventure began the moment I didn't get on the plane.

I arrived at the airport, ready to fly out, only to be told, surprise!, there was no seat for me. Apparently, the travel agency that booked my flight had made a mess, and while I wasn’t in the mood to fight at 6 a.m., I did anyway. The check-in agent eventually found a magic reference number and ushered me through. Small victory. Until I missed my connection to Denver.

The travel gods must've been both bored and cruel, because they re-routed me through Chicago → Washington D.C. (8-hour layover!) → Qatar → Delhi. By the time I arrived in Delhi at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning, I had experienced six airports, three airplane meals of questionable composition, and one existential crisis.

But hey, it was the cheapest flight I could find.

Landing in Delhi: Surprise! It's Trying to Kill You.

As we were descending into Delhi, the pilot cheerfully informed us it was a “balmy 31 degrees Celsius” and “hazy.” Which sounds lovely, right?

No. No, it was not lovely.

"Hazy" in Delhi means you walk out of the airport and your lungs instantly feel like they’ve been smoked like brisket. It’s not fog, it’s not mist, it’s air soup, and it tastes like diesel, desperation, and disappointment.

Everyone I talked to before coming to India said, “Brace yourself for the smells.” I thought they meant curry and incense. Oh no. That’s the cover story. Real Delhi smells include: diesel fumes, burning trash, sewage, street meat, sweaty rickshaw seats, and mystery spices that may or may not be alive.

Chaos, Cows, and Culture Shock

I flagged a rickshaw to head to the travel agency. This is not a ride, this is a full-body simulation of being in a video game set to "maximum chaos." Imagine dodging cows, goats, buses, feral children, and what appeared to be a flaming bicycle cart. All while inhaling enough smog to coat your lungs in soot like a Dickensian chimney boy.

I was running on zero sleep and the kind of poor planning only achievable by booking your international itinerary based on an episode of The Amazing Race. The two places I had researched the night before my flight were Jaipur (because the racers went to Amber Palace) and Varanasi (because my boss once sent me a disturbing video involving sadhus and cremation rituals).

So yes, my trip prep involved no guidebook, no itinerary, and one Google search.

Lost, Sweaty, and Found

Alone, confused, and sweating like a slow-roasting goat in my -15°C sleeping bag (what was I thinking?!), I was beginning to feel the weight of my own stupidity.

But fate smiled again. At Delhi airport, I met Evelyn and her lovely group from Ireland. Like a dehydrated stray dog, I gratefully latched on to their itinerary. Day 1 was an eye-opener. We struggled to find a hotel, got followed by aggressive touts, and experienced the full Indian culture immersion package. I was overwhelmed, but in a good way. Sort of.